I've got a bit of an inward battle going on right now, and I don't know if it's worth even fighting. My question here though, is why are we women the way we are? We judge before we think not to, we hold ridiculous grudges, we are petty and competetive...even if you are thinking- "not me!" you just aren't thinking about that lady in WalMart with the leggings and not-long-enough sweater, are you? I know, I know...none of us want to admit that we can be this way- I surely don't, but I'm becoming more sensitive to it in myself and others lately. For instance, there is a commercial building going up just above my neighborhood, a reception center on 4000 South. Jon and I got a letter telling us about the meeting they were having to go over plans, or present any opposition. We just said (only to each other) - who would oppose a reception center? Aren't they usually gorgeous? Grounds and building both? And than it was dropped. We didn't attend the meeting, and we didn't talk to anyone else about it. A few days later the (sweet, always been kind to me) lady that is building it goes into my husbands place of employment and deliberately tells the other sales rep that she will NOT work with Jon Tucker. Not knowing what he'd done to upset her, he called me and asked me what I had done, or said. I've never had anything but nice to say about this lady, and couldn't figure it out! He asked me then, "Why do women hold grudges?" And I just laughed at him, but then I thought long and hard about it... he didn't know, maybe he HAD done something mean and just couldn't remember... and there was some long ago but not forgotten history between the two of them. Regardless, it didn't look good.
Come to find out, she was upset because she heard/assumed that Jon and I were the most opposed to the construction of the reception center, and that we were trying to sabotage it's being built? Wow. Another point for Team Female. Why can't we confront the problem before making more problems come from it? Had she asked me if, or why I was against her project, I could have straightened her out and told her we were actually happy it was going there! What a great place to take pictures!! Not only has it caused me stress, but Jon as well- it's not fun being falsely accused of something at work, in front of your co-workers and/or boss.
Another instance... and this one is reoccurring, I deal with it on a daily basis. Why is it that when you walk into a business that sells something, you would rather talk to a man? I struggle with the people I deal with most days cause throughout the history of working at Western Living, I've had to compete with a male co-worker for sales. People that work with Jared are fiercely loyal. I have a few that deal with me and only me, but I've had to work very, very hard to get them to be that way. I have to make a point of "overdoing" the courtesy, especially to women when they walk in the door... because either they are judging me, or they think I am judging them. (Couldn't they at least put in their teeth when they come to town though?) Really though- I'm not perfect, but it's hard to know that I have to work so much harder to let people know that I'm really knowledgeable, and know what I'm doing! Maybe I'm just ranting... but think about it, if you went in to RC Willey, would you feel more comfortable talking to a guy, or a girl? Be honest, cause even I would say a guy. Why are we this way?
Am I the only one that needs to work on this? Confronting offenders, trying desperately not to pass judgement, being less critical, trying NOT to compete or compare myself to other women...forgiving past issues that really mean nothing in the grand scheme of things... it really doesn't have to be hard. It's a daily battle...but it starts with ourselves. Try smiling at the lady in WalMart that gives you the "who-do-you-think-you-are" look...say hi! It's the last thing we'd expect someone to do to us...and it's funny to see the delayed reaction- but they ALWAYS smile back. I had a lady come into work a little while ago, and I thought she was such a doll, not everyone can wear their hair "boy short." But it suited her, I just remember thinking- "why doesn't she highlight it or something??" I helped her find a bedroom set, we got along great, and when I went to write it up, I asked her name, and come to find out, she was the girl we had donated our "Tree for Charity" to. She had finished her last round of chemo treatments in January, and was finally feeling a little better, ready to do something just for her. I was truly humbled. Never judge- you never know what someone else may be going through. And about the teeth comment, I don't really have any room to talk. I'm going in for a root canal next week to try and salvage mine...
Brett and I go to Hawaii!
2 weeks ago