Friday, January 10, 2014

Confronting Fears...

One of my biggest fears is losing touch with my kids.  I don't want them to be embarrassed of me, I don't want them to keep things from me, and I don't want them to ever feel like they can't talk to me about anything.  This morning I decided to "talk" to Gage in the car while we waited for the bus.  He still tells me a lot of things whether it's what I want to hear or not- but lately he's been a little weird.  He used to tell me about his girlfriends- they're just friends that are girls... and he wasn't having trouble at school except for math- which means he's my son!  But, lately he's been really ornery in the morning and won't talk to me without getting defensive, and he's had to work on some really horrible grades that rhyme with Steph!  I don't know what's up- but I do know he's got a bad case of cabin fever.  Winter is SO HARD in Vernal!  It gets so cold they don't even let the kids go outside at recess or lunch break!  He does so much better with fresh air!  AND, I think he's been sneaking his ipad into his room at night, and not getting enough sleep.  I wish it were easy!  I wish I didn't have to worry about everything!  This mom thing is really hard- and just like the old adage goes- there is NO instruction manual!

That said, I know he's a great kid.  I don't worry about his integrity.  I got a text the other day from a friend that said Gage was so thoughtful to remember her son on his birthday.  She was impressed that he would give him a gift, even though he is the best friends little brother.  I had nothing to do with it, but found out later that he'd gotten something for him out of my "stash" in my closet- which is great!  Gage truly is a thoughtful young man- and he loves making people happy.  He's amazing with kids and has left impressions on many people, not just me.  I love this kid to the moon and back- and no matter how ornery, or how hard he gets, I always will... and he's not even a teenager yet.


Joey said...

Welllllllll, I love him to Jupiter and beyond! Top that. hahaha

Joey said...

I have been thinking about your post all weekend...It is so hard to know what to do and what is right. It is even harder to do what we KNOW is right...Having said that, mom's "KNOW", we have this "instinct" that tunes us into what our kids are up to whether they think we do or not. If you feel like there is something wrong or something he is hiding from you or not telling you...THERE IS!!!

Even the best kids can have something happen that scares them to the point that they don't know how to talk to anyone about it. Gage is still young, you have a great relationship with him and he is SMART! Find a way, ( and I know you can) to get to the bottom of it because if he bucks you now with his communication skills at 12, you will absolutely have brick walls at 14.

Do your "MOM" thing, you are much better at it than I ever was :)