Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Confession...

I promised myself I would never post anything about my weight. I hate making it anyone's business but my own. I am well aware of the fact that I've gained a lot of weight. I know I'm not in the best shape, and I'm having a hard time making me a priority. So, I thought, maybe if I make it known, write it down and let all of you read it, I might be more inclined not to fail.

First of all, I had Gage take a picture of Jon and I on our hike last Sunday. I wanted to cry when I saw the result. It was an amazing picture, but I hated the way I looked in it. The part that hit me the hardest was that no one said anything like "that doesn't look like you!" or, "that was a bad angle!" it was what I really look like, and I've turned a blind eye to it for a while now I guess.

Second, I've always loved to get dressed. I'm no "fashionista" by any means, but I love being creative with the conservative side of things. Lately, I haven't wanted to dress in anything but jeans and an oversized sweater. Everything else shows my belly and I really hate that.

Third, and most motivating...Gage told me that I'd probably be happier if I were skinnier. He didn't mean anything by it, he was even worried that I'd be upset when he said it. He's right though, I would be happier. I might not be too happy about getting there, but I don't want to be the bad example mom to my kids. I want them to want to be healthy and strong adults for their children, so I need to work on being healthy and strong for them.

Some of my friends at work have done the HCG thing, and I really thought that would be the way to go for me too. I'm not ruling it out, but I want to get to a point where I know I won't be wasting money. Wish me luck, it's going to be a long journey!

*Maybe at the end of it, I'll feel confident enough to share the picture I took last Sunday as the "before" to my newfound "after." But definately not now.

10 comments :

J, K, E & C Hadley said...

I am right there with you Stevie! I told my mom on several occasions when I was younger that I was not going to be fat and WOW have I eaten those words. I am working on it, and I know what I need to do, I just have to make it a priority instead of eating peanut MnM's and drinking a Coke while watching biggest loser (which I didn't do tonight, I actually worked out instead). Maybe by that time we can get a picture together as it has probably been 12+years.

Lucky Me said...

You took the thoughts right out of my brain...After my first three I was able to get back down to at least and 8 but this fourth one has put me over the top time wise. I just haven't gotten to the point of putting my own needs near the top of my list. I keep thinking something will hit me and make me get motivated but I havent' found it. Hopefully it will come sooner than later because I'm sure I would be much happier with 20 less pounds. Good Luck on your journey!

Kristi said...

Hey Stephanie! I found your blog through another one and I love this post. I think a lot of us are in the same boat-my facebook profile picture was taken BEFORE baby #3 (he's almost 2!). I just can't find a decent picture of me since then. I started running 4 months ago and have only lost 5 pounds! It's all about the eating and I HATE that. Good luck to you and you have inspired me to start eating healthy again-thanks!

The Durham Family said...

It seems as though we are all in the same boat. I am right there with you! And I can't afford to buy more clothes! Good luck! I hope it is easier that we both think it will be!
:)

Melissa said...

Oh, Steph. Do you remember in college when we were worrying about the same thing! lol, what I would give to get back to that size! So, since that's not going to happen over night how about this. I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR TRASH GIRL!!! I'M GOING TO LOSE 10LBS BEFORE YOU AND RUB IT IN! lol, seriously we should work together on this and then we can reward ourselves with the girl trip we keep talking about.

Heidi said...

Stephanie, I think you look great!!
I feel the same way as you. It's time us mom's take care of us and not everyone else.
Here is a blog for you to check out. This is a girl that used to be in my ward. She has been keeping a blog of her weight loss this last year. She has done GREAT. Check it out and see if any of her ideas can help you. Good Luck!

Heidi said...

Sorry here is her site:

180poundsorbust.blogspot.com

Joey said...

I love your guts Stephanie!

Karin said...

Stephanie, I think you are beautiful! You are an awesome person, and I am so glad that I can keep up with everything that is going on with you. Don't get discouraged, and stay motivated. It is a ton of hard work, but it is the best thing you will ever do for yourself!(:

Gar and Lis Caldwdell said...

Steph! I LOVED HCG please call me if you have any questions or just need the support! Love ya!